01 | un: sans

[ribticklers]

so the other side of that big wall is pretty messed up

[And Sans posts a link to a video taken from the top of the Gilded Wall. The landscape is a ruin of grey, dry soil and scattered, desiccated trees. There are no animals to be found, not even insects. Something in the distance glitches--round static, with a dark circle inside. As soon as Sans tries to focus the video on it, it vanishes. In that distance is a large, spiky black mass that can't be clearly seen.

Then the horde draws Sans's, and thus the video's, attention. Dozens of humanoid figures are rushing toward the wall. As they get closer and clearer, their appearances seem to be constantly shifting--humanoid, animal, entirely formless, full of static and cracks. In some of them, an eye forms in the darkness.

They seem to be actively avoiding making contact with the wall, but with the way they reach and claw upward, it's clear they are singlemindedly intent on murdering Sans.

There's a flash of something else shifting--brown hair, chin-length. The video cuts off immediately.]

Comments

[spaghettimonster]

I SEE, I SEE.
YOU THINK THEY WANTED TO HURT YOU, BUT THE WALL STOPPED THEM.

[ . . . ]

I BET YOU SAW MORE THAN YOU RECORDED. BEFORE AND AFTER.
DID ANY OF THEM HAVE MASKS?

[ribticklers]

[That's kind of a pointed question.]

no
you been seeing masks somewhere?

[spaghettimonster]

JUST THE ONE.
WORN BY A CREEPY CRAWLY BUG SHADOW,
IN THE DEEP FOGGY FOREST.
IT DIDN'T LOOK THE SAME AS YOUR VIDEO,

[It didn't, and he's happy to say that fact repeatedly! But. But after what happened, as much as he hates to admit it and even more hates to say it, he's feeling a little in danger.]

BUT.
I WONDER IF THEY'RE CONNECTED.

[ribticklers]

i'm guessing you didn't get any pics to compare
but it'd probably be more annoying to deal with if those things are just hanging out in the forest
so yeah it's definitely connected
did it act like a bad human horror movie monster?

[If Sans knew what that thing did, no matter who Papyrus was, Sans would not be quite that cavalier about it. Too bad he doesn't!

Also, specifying it as a "human horror movie monster" is very deliberate, because real monsters are not like that at all!]

[spaghettimonster]

WHAT DOES A BAD HUMAN HORROR MOVIE MONSTER ACT LIKE?

IT CREPT AROUND OUT OF SIGHT.
AND WHEN IT KNEW I SAW IT,
IT, LEAPT. AT ME.

[Nyeh. Heh heh. Leapt and then some.]

[ribticklers]

pretty much like that
but it sounds like you got up close and personal [That's kind of alarming, actually?]
how'd that work out?

[spaghettimonster]

NOT GREAT.
I DON'T RECOMMEND THE EXPERIENCE!!!

THANKFULLY, I WOKE UP OUTSIDE. AND MY INJURIES HEALED.

[He's pretty sure his face grew back right.]

[ribticklers]

[Sans's replies have been pretty quick, but this one takes longer. He isn't quite sure what to say, so he falls back on his usual material.]

i think that technically counts as a marrow escape

[spaghettimonster]

[Thank goodness, a well-timed pun is once again a relief. He did not actually want to go into detail right now - it's pretty recent, and alarming. It's not like he's alone and in need of watching, anyway; the dog has been dogging his side ever since that happened, even when he didn't recognize it, seemingly taking a self-appointed job of comforting him seriously.]

TECHNICALITIES SHMECHNICALITIES,
YOU'RE COMPLETELY CORRECT!
SOME OF MARROW COVERED MY ESCAPE.

AND, TOMARROW I WON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES.

[ribticklers]

are you going back to the forest tomorrow? [That does not sound like a great idea?]

[spaghettimonster]

NO.

[When everything he types is capitalized, it's harder to tell when something is an emphatic no.]

THAT'S ONE OF THE MISTAKES, THAT I AM NOT MAKING.
I'M GOING TO CONVALESCE SOME MORE,
AND READ ABOUT POETRY.

[ribticklers]

[That's a relief. Is that weird? No, it's normal to not want anyone to go rush in somewhere dangerous, right? But Sans thinks, well, for a lot of people maybe he wouldn't--care, like this, and--is that weird?

Well, Papyrus offered a subject change.]

that seems pretty popular lately
never understood poetry myself

[spaghettimonster]

NEVER, HUH?

[That's a strong sentiment from a skeleton sans memories, but he knows how it goes. Sometimes you're talking or doing things, and you say or do something by autopilot before you even know you know it...]

I'M FINDING OUT IF I UNDERSTAND IT.
BUT I LIKED PARFAITGIRL'S POEM.
UNTIL ITS SAD ENDING.

[ribticklers]

maybe you'll have a knack for it
if you want happier stuff you should check out the ice cream the vending machine has
those have joke poems

[Sans does understand those.]

[spaghettimonster]

DO THEY?
ALL I GOT WERE CELEBRITY FACES.

[Admittedly, no fragments of memory nudged him to check the sticks.]

[ribticklers]

did you check the sticks?
you've always gotta check the sticks

[spaghettimonster]

OH NO,
I, DIDN'T CHECK THE STICKS.

[ribticklers]

that was your first mistake
always check the sticks
now look at the sticky situation you're in

[spaghettimonster]

ALL BECAUSE I DIDN'T CHECK THE STICKS...
I'LL DO THAT FIRST THING, FROM NOW ON.

[Nothing for a well-balanced breakfast like ice cream divination every day.]

[ribticklers]

you know what else you missed out on?
getting a super cool autograph on an ice cream wrapper

[Is that cool? Maybe that's just weird. Sans thinks it's great, though.]

[spaghettimonster]

IS THAT STILL COOL?
THE WEATHER'S A LOT WARMER THAN ICE CREAM.

[It was probably cooler when the ice cream was still around.]

[ribticklers]

[That does get a chuckle out of him.]

don't doubt the power of celebrity