01 | un: sans

[ribticklers]

so the other side of that big wall is pretty messed up

[And Sans posts a link to a video taken from the top of the Gilded Wall. The landscape is a ruin of grey, dry soil and scattered, desiccated trees. There are no animals to be found, not even insects. Something in the distance glitches--round static, with a dark circle inside. As soon as Sans tries to focus the video on it, it vanishes. In that distance is a large, spiky black mass that can't be clearly seen.

Then the horde draws Sans's, and thus the video's, attention. Dozens of humanoid figures are rushing toward the wall. As they get closer and clearer, their appearances seem to be constantly shifting--humanoid, animal, entirely formless, full of static and cracks. In some of them, an eye forms in the darkness.

They seem to be actively avoiding making contact with the wall, but with the way they reach and claw upward, it's clear they are singlemindedly intent on murdering Sans.

There's a flash of something else shifting--brown hair, chin-length. The video cuts off immediately.]

Comments

[unrecovered]

Most people aren't.

[And Wash isn't terribly interested in talking about the exceptions to that rule.]

What do you make of it? Aside from "this looks bad."

[ribticklers]

calling them cursed seems pretty fitting
they definitely knew i was there before i noticed them
if anyone wants to take the worst field trip ever, they'd better have a way of getting across a lot of distance really fast

[Sans isn't planning on it--even though, between his academic-boosted skill with teleportation and his ability to cast haste, he actually is pretty capable of massive jumps in distance. Someone else can put themselves in danger, thanks.]

still undecided on throwing fruit at them

[That's from Sans's thread with Mista, if Wash is checking out the other conversations Sans is having.]

[unrecovered]

[Sans teleports. Sans would absolutely be a good person to get across a lot of distance really fast.]

[Then again, Sans is delicate enough that a flowerpot can take out half his ribcage, so. Probably not the best idea, especially since he might not remember his fragility, or his ability to teleport.]

[Shelve that. Move on.]

If they knew you were there already, they might be able to lock on to anyone trying to cross the distance. I'd hold off on that until we have a way to travel safely.

...also maybe don't aggro the homicidal shambling hordes.

[ribticklers]

yeah, fast and stealthy'd be the way to go
i'll try not to throw anything the day someone decides to try that marathon

[unrecovered]

Or you could throw something in the opposite direction from the travelers. Yell a lot. Create a distraction. Dress in drag and do the hula.

[Almost nobody is going to get his references, but that is not going to stop him from making them.]

[ribticklers]

[Sans is sure that last bit is a reference, but he has no idea what to. He also doesn't know if he should remember, which is kind of weird.]

but then i'd have to deal with them
no thanks

[unrecovered]

Just do it from the top of the wall. All the benefits of being a distraction and none of the downsides of combat.

[Convincing Sans to participate, even hypothetically, when he doesn't want to is probably an exercise in futility. That's not going to stop Wash.]

[ribticklers]

i'll think about it
if that wall really is getting weaker then it could end up pretty embarrassing for me
but things are probably gonna end up heading in that direction anyway since it's the most annoying to get to

[unrecovered]

If someone is hiding something, it's probably for a reason, which means it's worth looking into.

[Wash, you hypocrite.]

But yeah, if we're going to end up neck-deep in that Disney Villain lair anyway, we might as well start planning now. Can I put you down for distractions?

[Hopefully Sans will have remembered more by the time that particular mission gets off the ground and would therefore be willing to do more. Hopefully.]

[ribticklers]

giving me a to-do list already?
you haven't even taken me out to dinner

[So no, Sans doesn't want to commit to distraction duty yet. Sans could elaborate on his reasons, but he would rather just make a bad joke!]

[unrecovered]

Okay - see you at the cafe at 7.

[ribticklers]

i'd complain about the food being free there but that's what i would've picked too

[So yes, Sans will be there, because it's funny. Also, food.]