01, text | un: PAPYRUS

[spaghettimonster]

[Time for a text message to the network, as Papyrus takes up Sans' suggestion... several weeks after the fact.]

IT. HAS. BEEN. TEN. WEEKS.
AND I AM AT MY LIMIT.

PEOPLE WHO'VE REGAINED LOTS OF MEMORIES,
WHAT IS YOUR SECRET???
HOW DID YOU DO IT!?

I BARELY REMEMBER ANYTHING AND I'M TIRED OF IT!!

THE DOG KEEPS HINTING,
THAT I COULD REMEMBER THINGS FASTER.
BUT WHEN I ASK HOW IT JUST WINKS AND WALKS AWAY.

IF I HAVE TO PUBLISH POETRY, I'LL DO IT.


[ooc: As always, I'm happy to drop the capslock or the font for readability if it helps, just let me know! (They continue IC because Papyrus.)]

Comments

text; un: eudaimonikos

[eudaimonikos]

You know, I haven't remembered anything either.
Do you think they're all just making it up?


Also, what dog?

[spaghettimonster]

THEY COULD BE...
BUT THEY SOUND SO CASUALLY CONFIDENT.
AND REALLY GOOD AT KEEPING THEIR STORIES STRAIGHT.
NO, I THINK I HAVE TO BELIEVE THEM.

THE DOG IS MY DOG.
YOU KNOW, MY FAMILIAR?
YOU'VE PROBABLY SEEN IT ROAMING AROUND BEFORE.
SMALL, WHITE, A LITTLE ANNOYING...

IT LIKES TO TRICK PEOPLE INTO BUYING IT LUNCH.
DON'T BE FOOLED! I ALREADY FED IT!!

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, okay.
I probably wouldn't have anyway.

[Not out of any particular cruelty (this time), but like...it's not his dog.]

I don't know what to think.
They're all kinda weird to me.

[Almost like they can tell he's acting completely differently!]

[spaghettimonster]

YOU SAY THAT NOW.

[If you ask Papyrus, this dog wrote the book on effectively wielding puppy-dog eyes. It always gets to him.]

BUT YOU'RE RIGHT!
THEY'RE ALL WEIRD.
NO COMMON THEMES BETWEEN THEM.

SOME PEOPLE GO EXPLORING, AND RIDDLE-SOLVING,
LIKE THE SUPER SECRET BRACER CLUB IS FOR HEROES...
AND OTHERS JUST WANT TO LEAVE???

WE REALLY NEED TO PICK AN ATTITUDE HERE.

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, that can't be right.
I'm pretty sure I suck as a person.

[His feelings on that are mixed, lately, but. It seems true.]

[spaghettimonster]

HMMM.
THE BUREAU OF BALANCE: WE SUCK AS PEOPLE.

SNAPPY, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT WILL CATCH ON.

[eudaimonikos]

How about: the Bureau of Bastards?

[spaghettimonster]

THEMATIC! EVOCATIVE! I LOVE IT.

OH! HEY. ALSO, ARE YOU ONE OF THE PEOPLE,
WHO WANTS TO FLEE THE ISLAND AS FAST AS POSSIBLE?
JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE BASTARDY B.O.B. STRIVES FOR.

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, I don't know.
What's the point? It's not like I've got anywhere else to go.

[spaghettimonster]

RIGHT?!
IT'S FINE FOR PEOPLE WITH MEMORIES.
BUT SOMETIMES HOME IS WHERE YOU FIND YOURSELF.
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S THE ONLY PLACE YOU REMEMBER.

BUT. I COULDN'T HELP NOTICING.
YOU SOUND A LITTLE DOWN.
ARE YOU FEELING LOST AND CONFUSED, ADRIFT WITHOUT PURPOSE,
WANTING TO VENT A LITTLE FRUSTRATION AT THE WORLD??

> private

[eudaimonikos]

[.....well, he sort of hates to admit that much weakness to a stranger over the network, but he's felt...calmer, a little, since he talked to a few people. Since he did better at the coliseum, didn't lash out. And the concept of home being where they are stings, a little; he's never felt that about here, either.]

I guess.
But if you spread any of it around, I'll set you on fire.

private

[spaghettimonster]

[Such hesitance, such a threat! Somehow, it feels perfectly comfortable to deal with such a prickly comment, and he matches the private setting without complaint.

And in truth, Papyrus can relate with that hesitance to reveal too much... But he's already rediscovered the trick of admitting to inane and exaggerated weaknesses, the better to express his feelings without necessarily telling people every thought that passes through his mind.]

OF COURSE! I WON'T SPREAD IT AROUND.
YOUR WORRIES OR THAT FIRE.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS...
MY LIPS ARE SEALED! AND NONEXISTENT.

private

[eudaimonikos]

Well.

[Well...shit. He doesn't actually know how to talk about his feelings at all, maybe? He certainly has some, but now that he's supposed to verbalize them, it seems like they've all fled.]

I don't know.
I guess I feel lost and all that junk you said?

un: sans; text

[ribticklers]

did you try bribing the dog with food?

[spaghettimonster]

OF COURSE I FEED MY DOG.

AND SO DO HALF OF EVERYONE!!!
HAVE YOU SEEN IT WORKS ITS MAGIC?!
THOSE EYES OPEN WALLETS LIKE NOTHING ELSE.

[ribticklers]

bribery's totally different
gotta up the quality
or find something else it likes
how can you tell what it's hinting at anyway?

[spaghettimonster]

MAGIC, PROBABLY.
I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S GETTING AT.
NOT EXACTLY IN WORDS. BUT WORD-LIKE.
THE SPECIAL BOND BETWEEN WARLOCK AND FAMILIAR...

LIKE I THINK I SEE WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT TOO.
IT DOESN'T WANT JUST ANY FOOD, BUT SPECIAL TREATS, HUH?

[ribticklers]

yeah, up the ante
throw it a bone [Maybe literally?]
is it hinting at stuff when you're doing something specific or just whenever?

[spaghettimonster]

UGH. THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT IT WANTS.
BUT CHURCH THINKS IT ONLY LOVES ME FOR MY BONES...
AND I WANT TO PROVE HIM WRONG!!!
IT'LL LOVE ME FOR OTHER REASONS!
LIKE, FOLLOWING ITS ADVICE ABOUT MAGIC.

THAT'S THE SORT OF THING IT LIKES TO HINT AT.
GIVING ME IDEAS TO MAKE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE...
AND OTHER THINGS. MORE HELPFUL THINGS.

[ribticklers]

your dog's kind of a troublemaker, huh? [As if that wasn't already obvious.]
what do you think
were you a make problems on purpose kind of guy before all this?

[spaghettimonster]

NYOO HOO HOO...
I SHOULDN'T SAY YES, RIGHT?
NOBODY LIKES A CONSTANT TROUBLEMAKER.
BUT I MUST HAVE BEEN.
WHY ELSE WOULD SUCH A TROUBLESOME DOG BOND WITH ME??

[ribticklers]

maybe it's just trying to be a bad influence
lure you over to the bark side

[spaghettimonster]

MAYBE THAT'S IT.
IT WANTS ME TO TURN INTO A DOG, LIKE THOSE MURALS SHOW.
AND THEN IT'LL TURN INTO A SKELETON!
THEN WHO WILL HAVE ALL THE BONES IN THIS RELATIONSHIP???

[ribticklers]

sounds like a pretty ruff situation
you're gonna have to talk to it about this
tell it you have a bone to pick with it

[spaghettimonster]

A BONEA FIDE HEART TO HEART...
WELL, IF A BRIBE IS THE COST OF SETTING BOUNDARIES.
THEN I'M SURE I HAVE A BONE TO SPARE.